So, what can you expect to see in this blog?

I’ve told you a tiny bit about myself, and I suspect that we might become good friends through this blog as I continue to add to it. It’s still a baby now, remember that. We both will have to put effort into this blog baby, I have to nourish it and fill it with ideas while you get to be the distant Grandmother, coming to visit on the holidays. I’ll be sure to put up plenty of material to keep you entertained and to show my love, and you can sit back and relax, receiving all of the gifts my blog has to offer.

What I didn’t tell you in the first post was that I’m a writer. (Though, I’m sure you gathered that much, I mean this is a blog isn’t it?) I’ve been writing fiction since my school years (so at least eleven years) as an escape from the world. I tried once to write a novel, when I was younger and first coming into my passion of writing. It didn’t get anywhere, the chapters were short and I had only gotten half way through the introduction of the character and world before I gave up. Since then I have attempted to do more. I have taken part in National Novel Month (nanowrimo.org) and spent time writing whatever came to mind. I used to write quite a bit. I went on hiatus for about two years, not writing anything at all, but I’m jumping back on that horse. You might get to see little tidbits (or full segments and stories) of my stories, or any poems I write. Sometimes I can’t help but share. That being said, I’m likely going to let you know what other pieces of writing have caught my fancy, so you’ll get recommendations as well.

Mostly, however, I’ll talk about the things that I see happening in this world. I’ll get deep. I’ll skim the surface. I’ll write about whatever I feel, because when I write I just let my fingers do the talking. I just type and type, whatever comes to mind will come out in this blog. It’ll usually be unfiltered. (So yes, there might be swearing.) I’ll write about things that make me mad or sad, things I think the world could do without, but I’ll also talk about how I think we could change those things. I’ll write about the cute things I find, and share pictures I take and tell you stories that happen to me in my life. I’ll even ask you questions. When I found this blog site, I realized that there is a comment section, and I dig that. Love it. Ask me anything. Feel free to add to my conversation with your own beautiful words. And don’t be shy, really. I don’t bite, and I won’t allow others to bite. But that means you can request things for me to discuss here as well. If you are craving a discussion about your new favorite book, let me know. I’ll find it and I’ll read it and we’ll talk! I’m looking to learn as much from this blog as I am looking to teach, which is a lot.

I wanted to be a teacher when I was in school. I had a troubled childhood and some of my teachers reached out to me and made my school years much better. So much better in fact that I would have rather been at school than at home, even if it was testing season. (I hate tests.) I decided that I wanted to be that for another person someday. I wanted to be the reason they didn’t give up when they literally had nothing else, because I had nothing else. I lost almost all of my friends and I was being abused at home. With nowhere to turn, I was very close to losing myself. I was lucky enough to have some pretty amazing teachers, but the thing is, they weren’t treating me like that because they knew I was abused. I actually don’t think they knew. They just had the type of personality that would feed a hungry seed instead of give it the recommended amount of water and then walk away. They saw that I was thirsty to learn and they catered to that every step of the way. I had a teacher that would even loan me books from her personal stash. I went back for the next three years of my high school career to borrow her books and see what she was reading now. I desired to be that for someone else.

What I didn’t know was that there are other ways to be that. Being a teacher is just the only thing I had seen. Unfortunately, at one point in my life, my family left me. I’ll save that for a heavier post because it’s got some triggers in it and it’ll take me off topic. But the point is that for the span of a few years, I was family-less. I had never seen a supportive family and I was bullied in school. I did have a small group of friends, but almost none of them knew what was happening in my home life. I was ashamed of it. All I had ever seen of a support group were my teachers. Of course, I know now that there are other ways to teach and to make a difference. And with America’s failing education system, I’m better off finding an alternate. (It’s not the teachers fault, but rather the government that won’t let the teachers teach.) So you might come here and find posts geared to teach you a thing or two. Be warned, those posts will be open, I want you to discuss and ask questions. I am not the all knowing power, I will never claim to know everything. You can teach me also. So if I’m going on and on trying to teach you a thing or two and I’m missing a point or two, go ahead and let me know.

After all, we are all teachers.

Will I talk about politics? Maybe. I can’t say that I won’t. But also, I’ll lay this out here right now. I’m not terribly knowledgeable about the topic. I never really cared for our political system. I am sort of following it now, enough to know that I don’t want either Trump or Hillary to win, but I only just started paying attention this year. So chances are, I won’t be talking much about it. It’s not a system I want to live by anyway.

Will I be covering movies and TV shows? Perhaps. I don’t spend a ton of time watching either. I watch more movies than shows, and I’ll say this right now. The Alien franchise is my favorite. I enjoy Star Wars and Star Trek. I’m a nerd. So of course there are things I do watch and enjoy, but as of right now the only two TV shows I wait around for is Game of Thrones and American Horror Story. Ive watched others, and I’m willing to watch them, but it takes me a while to get through a show.

So you’ll be talking about books then? Yeah, probably. I’ll let you guys know what books I’m reading (Currently¬†The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood) and I might review them. If I think the whole world should read that book, yes I’ll talk about it. I’m a huge Harry Potter fan, I’m the lucky generation that go to grow up reading it. Don’t get me started on that though, that’s a whole post (and then some) worth of fan girling and talking and theories and debates and happiness and sadness and anger, but mostly the craving of butter beer.

Basically, I’ll be talking about everything. And anything. Some posts will be short, others will be long. I might even just upload an image with just a sentence or two attached. (Especially since you don’t know my cats yet. I have to show you my cats!)

What are you likely to hear a lot about? Tea. I can guarantee you that each post will be fueled by tea. Most likely Earl Grey, but there are a great many teas that I drink. Earl Grey is just my go to. It’s my love. It’s probably what my soul smells like at this point in life. When I die, I will likely be reborn as bergamot and I’m okay with that. I’ll try to keep my rants about tea down to a minimum one post a month. I won’t overload you too much.

I really hope I’ve made it clear that I’ll be talking about anything that strikes my fancy. That’s the point of this post. Clearly?

Welcome to my first post

Hello, I suppose the first thing I should do is tell you about myself. I’m a 24 year old Taurus bull, true to my nature I butt heads with just about everyone. I’ve always struggled with this, always had those moments where I wondered if I had just scared someone away, and then not giving one care weather or not I did. I’m blunt, I’m harsh, sometimes I don’t think before I speak, but I always love. I think that’s what people always forget about me. I love, and I love harder than anyone I know aside from my boyfriend (must be why we are together right?). It seems that sometimes I can’t contain my passion, I can’t contain the amount of love I have and with that comes disgust for the ‘anti-love’. I have disgust for the things that promote hate, and remember when I said I am blunt? How about when I said I sometimes don’t think?

Yeah, that comes from my passion. Blind passion I like to call it. Here’s an example. I’ve been struggling for a long time with my sexuality. I’m not gay, but I have such a hard time saying I’m straight because the feminine form is beautiful-sometimes more beautiful than anything I’ve ever seen. So, am I straight? Who knows. But this specific question is what causes me to lean towards pro-gay rights. Alright, I don’t lean towards it, I’m all for it. One hundred and ten percent and then some. So when gay marriage was federally legalized in the States, my heart soared. I even cried, I was so happy. But of course there was an instant backlash online (and in person) of all kinds of people hating on gay marriage. My blind passion kicked in then. I actually wanted to delete everyone off of my social media. I couldn’t stand seeing people hating, I mean why!? For what reason? Because now a man and man can marry? What’s it to ya? Really now, I felt so overwhelmed with the joy of all of the people that must have been so happy that they could finally marry that I hadn’t prepared myself for the amount of negativity that was about to suddenly pour out of so many people. I did delete people. Lots of them. People I had been friends with for so long, and new friends. I couldn’t stand the things that were posted because each time they were posted and I saw them, it felt as if someone had taken a knife and dug it right into my chest. Through my heart. Blind passion might someday kill me.

I don’t think. I should. But sometimes the emotion just comes on so quick that I don’t even know it’s happening and before I know it I’m in some kind of debate about some issue that I never thought I’d have to debate about. Because I think all humans should be free and resonate with love, I tend to forget that not everyone is like that. I’m actually kind of rare among some circles.

So I decided to create a safe place to come, when the world seems to be too much, and you don’t seem to belong. My preferred place would be in my own book store, with a small coffee and tea shop, selling my grandmothers hand made goodies (oh her cooking is amazing). I imagine I’d have gay pride and coexist stickers on the windows. I’d be therapy pet friendly. Use my back room for people who need to use the space for meetings or presentations, give all of my unsold food to the homeless and needy. My vision involves anyone and everyone who is full of love, no matter the belief system, sexual orientation, skin color, age ect. But I just don’t have the means to open such a shop right now. This will have to do. I only hope that it will reach those who need it, those who feel alone and have nowhere to turn. I felt that way, and sometimes still feel that way. This world is so full of those who only see the world through a tiny window, but I feel that I see the entire Universe but I’m not seeing it through a window of any sort. I am the Universe. We are the Universe. We are one.